


Moving like a Well-Oiled Machine

by Chocobofever



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 06:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16112321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocobofever/pseuds/Chocobofever
Summary: The obligatory Kakashi and Iruka switch bodies fic.





	Moving like a Well-Oiled Machine

**Author's Note:**

> Rated 'T' for some naughty words.
> 
> A/N: It's starts out real serious and goes downhill real quick.

Kakashi's fingers are long and thin. His fingers clench with notably efficiency as he makes a fist with his hand and Iruka can just imagine how many times the man must not have made that motion to have it so ingrained in his nervous system. Hatake Kakashi, man of the sharingan, is like a well-oiled machine with considerable combative properties. That's without the aid of the sharingan.

How strong is Kakashi really?  
  
"Well, better get moving before someone notices I've stolen their greatest asset," Iruka murmurs, looking around the room he's held in. It's a small, square room with white walls _—_ very original _—_ and a very familiar figure lays slumped on the floor next to the bed that he woke up on. As he watches, the body stirs. Iruka freezes (in Kakashi's body, he reminds himself because fuck, that's confusing).

Iruka's (really Kakashi's) eyes blink open and he looks dazed. 

Busted, Iruka thinks to himself, but really, this is kind of good, isn't it? He's a bit, just a reeeaaally little bit concerned about Hatake Kakashi finding out his body has been stolen by one of Konoha's chunin, but they're on the same side and it's better if Iruka doesn't have to carry himself over his _—_ Kakashi's _—_ shoulder. Makes it more likely that they'll both escape and that's kind of important because if Iruka's real body gets captured then there's no way he's giving up Kakashi's.

Iruka's body rises half-way off the floor. Iruka knows the moment Kakashi's eyes find him. He waits for the inevitable _—_ an explosion of anger, a mental breakdown, for understanding and sheer horror to show up in his eyes _—_ but instead, he's only met with a blank stare.

"Well, that's new."

Iruka blinks. He's pretty sure that's not how his voice sounds usually, too low and gravelly. Making him sound at least fifteen years older than his actual sixteen. "You're talking wrong," he tells his counterpart.

That has the boy's attention. His spine straightens out, looking a lot more alert all of a sudden and his eyes dart around the room.

"We're escaping. Kind of," Iruka tells him.

"Who are you? What _—_ " Kakashi lets out a sound of sheer disgust, stumbling onto his feet. He grabs the side of the bed for support, face pale. "What's going on? Who put you up to this? What..." His fingers of the free hand make a grasping motion, much like Iruka had done with Kakashi's body earlier. "Is this genjutsu?"

Iruka rubs the back of his neck. "It's a long story. It's starts on a night several years ago when I may or may not have snuck out with one of my friends to dig through her sensei's office... So yeah. The one thing is, the scrolls were a bit unclear on whether changing back is possible so I haven't dared test out this jutsu yet, but I figured it's kind of okay if the body I get stuck in is Hatake Kakashi's... Though that may suck for you. Sorry."

It's mystifying to see your own face stare up at you in sheer disbelief.

"To my defense, I did it intending to save you since you've been cooped up here for close to two weeks now. I don't know if maybe you had a plan for escape, but, you know, it doesn't seem to be working out so well. So I figured out you could use a helping hand. Or, you know," Iruka wiggled his newly aquired fingers. "Your own helping hands."

"What's your rank?"

"Chunin." Iruka had barely gotten the words out before he found his world spinning and he landed on his back with an 'oompf'. An arm tightened around his throat, knee digging in his back, and Iruka began to struggle realizing that fuck, he might actually get killed by the real Hatake Kakashi while occupying said man's body!

"Reverse it."

"I don't kn _—_ " Iruka gasped, letting out a guttural sound as the force on his airways was doubled.

"Reverse. It. Now."

"I already told you! I don't know if it can be reversed! I don't... I have the original scroll at home, okay?" The pressure let up slightly. Iruka inhaled dear oxygen, panting slightly.

"Where's home?"

"In Konoha, dick-ass. I live," the arms tightened warningly. Iruka coughed. "I live in the communal housings."

"West or East?"

"East."

"That's a nice neighbourhood."

"No, it's not. It's the worst. My neighbour literally lives with eighteen cats and she can't afford to feed half of them so they come raid my house if I forget to put freaking traps on my window. I can't even get her evicted because I live in the cheapest, most rundown area in the village and they struggle to get tenants that are actually capable of paying rent. So pretty much anything goes around those corners."  
The pressure around Iruka lets up enough that he can breathe freely now, though he can still feel the threat of violence should he make a wrong move.

"Correct," the voice in his ear says and Iruka shudders realizing that had been a test.

"Will you let go of me now? I'd like to remind you that this is actually your body that you're manhandling."'

"My body has had worse. One more question and if I'm satisfied with your response, we may renegotiate our positions. How old are you and what is your name?"

"That's two," Iruka mutters. "Umino Iruka, sixteen."

"What's a sixteen year old Konoha chunin doing in a criminal underground facility on the other side of the continent?"

"We're in Earth country actually. I think... I'm not absolutely sure, but I overheard some people saying you may have been sold here. As for how I got here, I, er, my team and I got in trouble and I ended up going undercover as a civilian. Somehow I ended up being employed here."

"Really." Kakashi's voice is cool.

"Really! It's the truth! Listen man, do you think I would be helping you if we weren't allies?"

Kakashi remains silent for a good minute, apparently thinking over Iruka's words. Iruka feels cold all of a sudden - what will happen if he fails to convince the man of his goodwill? He'd still have to take Iruka along, right?

"Where are the cameras in this facility located?"

"They're everywhere, but they're out of order currently. There's a terrible termite infestation on the second floor and they've eaten through half of the wires. It will take days to fix. We're not supposed to tell the boss because he'll be furious. The last time he received bad news he threw a fit and threw a table full of testing tubes to the floor."

"Really," Kakashi says dully _—_ Again speaking in a voice that is too deep and entirely inappropriate for Iruka's body.

"Will you teach me how to use the sharingan?" Iruka asks, deciding that it’s his turn to get something out of this ordeal.

"My body _, which you are occupying currently,_ is too low on chakra for you to remain conscious very long if you uncover my left eye. So I wouldn't recommend it."

Iruka's face falls.

* * *

  
  
"Cover yourself up," Kakashi hissed. They were sneaking through the hallways, taking a quick turn whenever they heard voices coming their way. Not many were around as it was eight thirty in the morning, a little bit too late (early?) for scientists who'd remained up all night on the power of coffee to be functioning.

"I  _am..._ "

"I meant your face. My face."

Iruka touched said face, feeling the creases and bumps where old scars criss-crossed the skin. The most notable one lay on the chin. He could feel how deep it must have once went, almost cleaving Kakashi's head.

"Stop that."

"It's just a face. I'm not fondling your dick or anything," Iruka said reasonably, lowering his hand.

"You might as well be! Don't touch my face and... Here." Kakashi dug through the tools on a tray to procure a face mask, the kind doctors often wore at a hospital. "Put this on. That way, if we're spotted, you'll still be covered."

Iruka rolled his eyes, but nonetheless put the mask on, strapping the elastics behind his ears to keep it attached. "Now I feel like a fool." Even his voice came out muffled. Maybe this could have its uses during a prank?

"Think of it this way. I never go anywhere without a mask. If you don't wear it, everybody and their dog will know at first glance you're not actually me. If you do, you get to be exactly like the great Hatake Kakashi for a day. Yay~"

"They won't believe I'm you anyway."

"What makes you say that? You look exactly like me. Your body _is_ me."

Iruka waved his hand in the general direction of Kakashi. "Anybody looking at you will be able to tell you're not actually me even if you have my body. It's like ridiculously apparent. We're both terrible actors."

"I'm not actively trying to pass for you.”

”For suuure.”

Kakashi’s shoulders stiffened. ”I’m _not_ actively trying to pass for you. Whatever crappy level you’re at, don’t project it on me. I’ve actually been trained in infiltration. And why am I even arguing with you about this? As long as you keep your mouth shut we’ll do fine even if someone happens to stumble upon us.”

”I can’t keep my mouth shut for any period of time, says my sensei. He knows everything. Says he.”

Kakashi only rolls his eyes, grabbing Iruka by the scruff of his neck. It’s a bit funny because Iruka is currently half a head taller than him, but he follows nevertheless nicely because he’s pretty sure that their chances of making it home alive will be better if the legendary Copy Nin remains in charge of their escape.

Kakashi speaks, ”The plan is this: You keep still and let them aim for you while I use the opportunity to sneak behind them as they’re distracted. Boom, down in one hit. Easy-peasy.”

”If we’re caught, I’ll chidori them into oblivion,” Iruka muses aloud.

”No.”

”Yes.”

” _No._ That’s not the plan. I can already tell what type of person you are and apart from occasionally managing the impossible, you’re nothing but a hindrance.”

Iruka hisses in protest, until Kakashi’s _exact_ words register. ” _Occasionally managing the impossible…_ So you think I can do it!”

”No!”

* * *

 

They do end up having to fight. Kakashi and Iruka are just about sneak into freedom, already seeing the entrance (”My duties included taking out the trash,” Iruka said when Kakashi wondered if they might find a map of the facilities hidden somewhere. The incredulous look on the Copy Nin’s face when he realizes that Iruka knows the way out more than makes up for the pain of having to deal with him instead of just lurching around an unconscious body.) when the alarm goes off.

”Damn,” Kakashi says, sounding nonetheless calm. Iruka is quietly panicking beside him, already holding on to the surgical knives he armed himself with on the way. ”Remember the plan.”

”I’m supposed to just _stand there—”_

”Yes.” Kakashi moves and despite it being Iruka’s body, it’s beautiful to watch.

One guard falls immediately. The second goes down not much later. The third, now alerted, is better prepared. Kakashi’s arm swings out in a wide arch, maximizing reach while keeping perfect balance. The moment the enemy strikes back, he’s already pulling away, engaging in a dance. Strike, dodge, parry. Strike, dodge, parry. And then he makes a mistake over-estimating his reach with Iruka’s slightly shorter arms and he’s come too close, face to face with an enemy who is prepared to gut him.

”Traitor boy,” the guard says, while a malscious smile spreads on his lips. ”Happens every once in a while. I have to say I enjoy _—_ ”

Iruka doesn’t think, his body just moves on its own. Before knows it, the enemy is falling back with a perfectly aimed surgical knife embedded in the crease between his eyes. Iruka gapes. Even Kakashi seems surprised, but he recovers more quickly, grabbing on to Iruka’s wrist and pulling him along.

”Did you see that? That’s insane! My body literally just moved on it’s own.”

Iruka can’t help but stare down at his hand. Er, Kakashi’s hand. He moves the fingers, transfixed by the feeling of potential there. Suddenly he’s certain he could do it again.

”I know.”

”I didn’t even _think,_ ” Iruka tries to tell Kakashi, certain the other does not understand the significance of his finding.

”Thinking impairs action. That’s how you’re supposed to do it. That’s why you practice, over and over again, so you don’t have to think. Your body knows.”

Iruka has never felt this way. He thinks about all those times he fell asleep in class or when he skipped entirely to prank some villager who he felt had done him wrong. Though he’s started working harder lately, especially after he failed his chunin exam for the third time, he realizes he’s never truly given it his all _—_ not in the way Hatake Kakashi has. From those few words alone Iruka can desipher the single-minded focus that the man must have exerted _for years_ to become the legend that he is.

_Thinking impairs action._

_That’s why you practice, over and over again, so you don’t have to think. Your body knows._

How different isn’t that from Iruka, who spent the majority of his years in the Academy wondering if he’d be better liked by his peers if his parents had not perished in the Kyuubi attack? Who infiltrated the teacher’s office again and again in hopes that he could avoid studying if he found and copied the answer sheet? Iruka would bet that if Kakashi ever did that, he did it so he could further his skills, not to avoid developing them.

It makes him wonder: What really makes a difference in people’s lives? Maybe, _maybe_ it’s not genetics making people like Hatake Kakashi so successful. The reason why many of the now famous clans rose to elite status was because of their ability to provide the country with strong protectors. Iruka always thought it was genetics _—_ either you had it or you didn’t and some bloodlines had it better than others – but maybe that’s oversimplifying the problem. Maybe there’s something else that makes the old clans so overwhelmingly powerful.

If that’s the case, if it’s not genetics but _education_ that’s making them successful, if the clans in fact _raise_ children to be future Uchiha Itachis or Hatake Kakashis, that means that the success could be open to everyone, not just people raised in clans. It’s a sobering thought.

”Hostiles incoming at eight o’clock,” Kakashi warns him. ”Chunin rank or below. I think most of the guards may have been mercenaries _—_ ”

Iruka remembers how his body moved before. So effortly, like his hands were made for fighting. Before Kakashi has a chance to finish his warning, Iruka is already running through hand-seals. _Ox, ox, horse, rat._ His hands move like greased lightning to produce a ball of fire, a traditional Konoha jutsu, and Iruka twists to send it at their enemies.

It blows up, taking down two. Iruka hums in satisfaction. His body feels alive.

”Idiot!” Kakashi hisses, grabbing him by the arm. ”If you keep going like that, you’ll pass out on me before we reach the border!”

”A jutsu like that is nothing for someone of your level,” Iruka says confidently.

”I’m chakra depleted! That is, my body is.” Kakashi narrows his eyes. ”You may be under the impression that you know my body simply because you’re operating it currently, but I’ve had that piece of shit for twenty one years now. Trust me when I say _it will shut down on you_ if you keep using jutsu carelessly _.”_

”Bodies don’t just shut down all of a sudden.”

”Mine will. You exceed its limits and it will leave you stranded without mercy. Then you get to be carried to safety bridal-style by friends who no longer are deserving of that status. So _don’t use chakra.”_

Iruka scoffs at Kakashi’s warnings. Nevertheless, when he turns his attention inwards he determines that Kakashi is at least partly right. Though he’d not noticed it before, there is a light tingling around his chakra coils. As he tests it, he can feel chakra generating easily _—_ despite an increasing sensation of exhaustion.

Kakashi’s body is curious. It’s so intuitive, so very precise and so willing to obey his every demand. Iruka feels that if he he were to just _tug_ then it would give him chakra all the way from the bottom of the well.

”Okay, so how does one get out of a difficult situation without using chakra, oh mighty sensei?”

A fireball comes blasting their way. Iruka and Kakashi duck, letting it pass over their heads.

”Like this,” Kakashi says, and pulls out an empty tag from his pocket. It’s one of Iruka’s, carefully stored in the inner lining of the clothes he wore on the day he got separated from his team. Kakashi would have needed a knife or something equally sharp to get it out.

Kakashi then types a shape on the blank paper with his finger. Iruka’s never seen someone use a tag without ink before. The tag lights up.

Iruka’s world goes black and he doesn’t even feel his (Hatake Kakashi’s) body toppling over.

* * *

 

”You know you’re supposed to close your eyes before the flare goes off.”

The voice calls to Iruka through the darkness. His brows crease. He’s certain he’s heard that intonation somewhere before.

A fire cracks nearby. He can feel it’s warmth on his skin; He’s maybe ten feet away from it, lying on his back. Iruka blinks his eyes open. He can see through only one of them. He puts a hand on his other, feeling cloth.

”Don’t poke at that. You don’t want it falling off.” A hand picks up Iruka’s hand, moving it away like a mother would do with her yet-too-nosy two-year old.

”You’re Hatake Kakashi,” Iruka says, his memory returning to him.

”So are you, ironically.”

It takes Iruka’s brain a while to figure that one out. He realizes Kakashi’s right. How odd.

”What happened to the people chasing us?” Iruka asks. He looks around, finding that they’re in small clearing. The sky’s dark, with only a sliver of sunlight visible in the distance.

”Much like you, they passed out. They weren’t too skilled apparently.” Kakashi shurgs his shoulders like he doesn’t care.

Iruka realizes they could have died if he passed out but their opponents had not. ”Sorry.”

Kakashi throws him a glance, but he does not respond. Iruka is unnaccustomed to seeing such a mature, serious look on his own face. 

Iruka pushes himself up into a sitting position. Kakashi, in his body, is sitting close by, almost touching. He’s adjusting a stick with a rabbit on it over the fire.

”What type of flare was that? I don’t think I’ve seen it before,” Iruka says to fill the silence.

”It’s a black-out tag. We use it quite a lot in… On A-rank missions.”

”You must have been on many of those.”

Kakashi shrugs, but Iruka knows he’s correct. Copy Nin Kakashi has a reputation after all.

”You’re quite impressive yourself, managing a body-steal.” Kakashi says it nonchallantly, yet Iruka knows it’s anything but. ”I considered it for quite some time while you were out cold, but cannot for the life of me think of more than two or three persons who might be able to pull off a similar technique. The Yamanaka body-mind tricks come close, but even they just infringe rather than take. You have total control of my body, at least in theory.”

”Orochimaru,” Iruka says without having to be asked. Beside him, Kakashi tenses. ”My friend was one of his students. Mitarashi Anko. Maybe you know her?” Kakashi gives a sharp nod. ”Anyway, we kind of… Visited his office once. Back when he was still a normal sensei. Well, not _normal_ normal.” Iruka rubs the side of his nose, startled to find it covered by material.

Oh, right. He forgot he’s Kakashi.

”So Orochimaru’s been researching body switching techniques.” Kakashi’s voice is carefully devoid of emotion.

Iruka shrugs. ”I think he was researching all kinds of weird things. We couldn’t understand most of it, but his office was _littered_ with snakes! They were like, stationed at every corner. Good thing Anko could talk with them, though they still wouldn’t go against Orochimaru’s orders if she asked. Except for this one fello’. He said he’s slither aside if Anko showed him her panties.” Iruka senses that he has Kakashi’s full attention.

”…And did she?”

”She’s Anko, of course she did. That’s how we got the scroll. And other stuff. Though we only made copies and put the originals back in so he wouldn’t notice we’d touched his things.”

Kakashi is silent for a moment, thinking through what Iruka just told him. ”It was a very dangerous thing that you two did. You do realize that many of the children he worked with went missing and were found dead.”

”I know that _now._ Back then I thought his creepiness was simply an act to keep students in line.”

 Kakashi sends him a look.

”Teachers tried to scare us into obedience all the time!”

”Your teachers… Nevermind.” Kakashi turns away and Iruka probably misheard him, but it almost sounded like Kakashi said ’I’m sure they had their reasons’ under his breath.

* * *

  

”The mask,” Kakashi reminds him as they approach the gates.

”Oh, right.” Iruka pulls up the mask they managed to procure on the way. It’s not the same as the Konoha shinobi standard, fitting more loosely around his neck and giving him a raw, roguish appearance, but it doesn’t much matter to him since he’d elected not to wear one for the most of their journey anyway.

 It wasn’t like animals cared what his face looked like.

As they entered Konoha, Iruka got a taste of what being Hatake Kakashi in public was like. People referred to him with respect (yet also fear), they gave him a curt nod and then expected him to know how to act. Nobody stopped them on their way to the Hokage’s office, though several people stopped to send Kakashi (in their eyes, Iruka) suspicious glances.

”Come in,” the Hokage’s voice calmly said. Iruka and Kakashi entered.

It took them only a short time to outline their problem, during which the Hokage remained patietnly listening. Iruka told the old man everything about how he’d gotten separated from his team (”They’re here. Your team-mates arrived two weeks earlier than you and worried that you might have been caught by the enemy.”), how he’d ended up working for the underground facility and finally Kakashi’s arrival.

”I overheard one of the men bringing you in say they’d gotten a good penny for you,” Iruka told Kakashi.

”How delightful.” 

”Nobody knew what you’d been brought in for however. The boss… Could be impulsive in his decisions.” 

”An impulse buy,” the Hokage muttered.

”I think so.” Iruka agreed. ”For the first week they just kept him locked up in a room. I tried to visit him once to see if, you know, it was him, but I was turned around by the ward. Later I got in by claiming I was part of the cleaning personnel.”

”What _was_ your actual job?” Kakashi asked, eyebrows creased.

”Termite extinction.”

 

SOMEHOW THEY MANAGED TO CHANGE BACK  
END STORY

**Author's Note:**

> MINI EPILOGUE: 
> 
> They weren't allowed to discuss the details of the mission with others. Hiruzen made sure Iruka and Kakashi (mostly Iruka) understood this well before dismissing them from his office. 
> 
> Afterwards, Iruka did not see Kakashi for several weeks until he ran into the man having a drink with his friends at a bar. Iruka walked up to them, oozing confidence, and asked with zero shame, "It's been a while, Kakashi-kun. If you don't mind me asking, how did it feel to be inside of me? I haven't felt like myself after being inside of you." He then fluttered his eyes and pretended not to notice how the whole table had gone silent and Asuma dropped his cigarette gaping.


End file.
